How many times have you heard your husband complains that his sexual needs are not being satisfied by you? The fact is that the lack of sexual activity is one of the top complaints most married women have about their husbands. Husbands do not enjoy sex and this may very well be the root cause of their dissatisfaction. In order to save your marriage from separation or divorce, you need to understand and deal with the issues behind your husband’s complaints.
First, what exactly is it that your husband wishes to change in your relationship? Are there certain sexual requests or thoughts that he wants you to perform that you just cannot say no to? Are you used to performing or are you willing to let things go for the sake of your sanity and happiness? Husbands do not always talk very openly about their sexual needs and if you want to salvage your marriage from a bad situation, open communication is the key.
Second, is your husband capable of giving you what you want? A lot of wives complain that their husband has a “nagging” attitude and he always wants to be “respected” and “treated right”. Do you see the potential for abuse here? If you find yourself constantly apologizing for every small thing that you have done that does not meet his expectations, then you will be a monster and your husband will resent you endlessly for treating him like this.
Third, is your husband willing to do what is necessary to make you happy? Unfortunately, wives often blame themselves whenever their husbands complain about anything. You may be convinced that your job or your friends are to blame for every problem you have with your husband, but the truth is that the real causes of marital problems stem from your own behavior and approach towards your spouse. If you refuse to correct your mistakes and treat your husband like he is some kind of a sex addict, then you are actually making it worse for him and making yourself unhappy in the marriage.
Fourth, is your husband completely up for sex with every member of the opposite sex you invite over? You may think that every sexual invitation your husband receives is just another “pecker in the door”, but if you make this mistake in the early stages of your relationship, you are going to drive your husband away. If you want to keep him happy and your relationship alive, you have to stop treating him like a sex addict and start focusing on his desires and his needs. If you give into every whim and every frolicking idea you have, you are going to drive him away and make him resent you more.
Fifth, does your husband feel like a prisoner in your home? Your husband probably feels like a prisoner in your home because you are constantly demanding sex from him and he feels like an unwanted sexual object by your side. If you continue to treat your husband like this and provide him with sex, you are going to send a clear message to him that he can’t have you and that will hurt his ego and self-confidence. A healthy sexual relationship is built on mutual trust, support and understanding. It is built on his feeling like a valued part of the family and not something that you can put on a shelf.
Sixth, is your husband constantly looking for your approval or is he looking for his hand held until you say yes? This is a big problem and it is very easy to create a problem in a marriage when one spouse is always looking for the approval of the other. When one spouse constantly looks for the approval of the other, it creates an atmosphere of insecurity and frustration and that will cause the other spouse to avoid sex.
Seventh, is your husband confused and frustrated? You have to clear the air between you and your husband. You don’t want to keep telling him what you don’t want. You don’t want to keep trying to control his behavior any longer than you have to. You need to let him find out what his needs are and give him a way to express those needs. That means you can say “you’re not getting what you want” and then turn your back while he goes crazy thinking you don’t know what he wants and then start having sex again.