When you consider the fact that a person who is being attacked by the very person who is abusing and violating her does not feel sympathy, it’s pretty obvious that she is going to think that she is being violated in a sexual way. Her mind has no doubt been planted with images of being violated in a sexual way. This kind of trauma is common to victims of all sorts of sexual attacks. It is not uncommon for people who have been violated in a sexual way to think that their assailant has taken sexual pleasure in the violation.
It’s not her fault that she has been conditioned to believe this. She will do anything that she can to make sure that she won’t be blamed for being raped. Her mind is programmed to believe that she is the victim and that she needs to blame herself for what happened to her. She has been brainwashed and is totally out of proportion to what has actually happened to her. It may seem far-fetched to some people, but these are the thoughts that the victim has gone through when she is being violated.
The most common effect of being violated in a sexual way is to feel guilty about yourself and to think that you deserved to be violated in the first place. This is why the victim will often say things like “he shouldn’t have grabbed me” or “he shouldn’t have put his hands on me like that”. These are statements that she doesn’t really mean and they don’t justify the fact that she was violated.
You should never try to talk to the victim about how she feels about being violated. Talk to her in a non-threatening way so as not to startle her. You may want to bring up her situation with her friends if you can get a chance. Make sure that you tell her that you understand and that you’re only trying to be supportive. It is vital that you do not speak negatively about her because it will always be remembered as a negative experience for her in the long run.
Make sure that you respect her feelings at the same time because you will have to explain yourself later on. Don’t make her feel like she owns the blame for what happened. Even if you know that she is partly to blame, say to her that it wasn’t her fault and that it was neither your nor her fault. You must also let her know that you support her in whatever she chooses to do in order to make her feel better about herself. It is understandable that the victim is confused and feeling very uncomfortable due to what has happened. You must try to give her words of comfort that will help her move on.
If you are a male, remember that it is not your responsibility to tell the victim’s story to anyone at all. Don’t ever look the victim in the eye when she is talking to her friends or when you are listening to her story. It would be very stupid to do so since it makes the victim feel insecure and ashamed about herself. Keep your eyes on the goal instead and only give her positive attention when she is describing her feeling during the sex act. When she tells her friends that she feels very embarrassed during sex, you must assure her that this is not something that she can’t handle and that it will definitely pass eventually.
The victim’s mind is a powerful tool and by thinking negative things about her, she will feel even more guilty and embarrassed. You can do two things to boost her confidence while telling her the truth. First, you can ask her what she feels in regard to her body when she is enjoying sex. This way you can validate her feelings and she will feel more confident. Second, tell her that the things she does during sex are not only harmless but are actually very enjoyable.
One of the major causes of victims thinking that sex is a dirty thing to do is because society puts a lot of value on a woman’s beauty. In order for a victim to break free from this negative thought, you must make her realize how she looks physically. She will realize that sex doesn’t have to be degrading or painful. There is always a way to be sexy and enjoyable at the same time. Talk to your victim about this matter and make her understand that sex is an art that can be enjoyed by both men and women.